Single men who have never had a substantial relationship and don't want one are the men that most Black women seek to avoid after a certain age. Some Black men like to say Black women who are at a certain age and have never been married have something wrong with them. Often such is not the case. EVERYONE has issues, some are just more prevalent than others. From the perspective of many black women who are gainfully employed, childless, drama-free, and attractive, the candidates of equivalent standards are few. There are single Black men, but what TYPE of single they are is the question. Here are the common types of single Black men that most Black women run across:
-The Can't Let Go of His Past SBM: This man lives in the past. Can't let go of what he used to be to get to what he should become. He starts off every sentence like this: "Back in the day", "When I was..", "I used to..." He's in a time warp and his clothes probably are to.
-The Mama's Boy: He's so in love with his mama he can't get to know any other woman. Why? Because no one compares to his mama. No one cooks like her, cleans like her, or listens to him. MIght I suggest you continue to see your mama and grow old with her since clearly this is the only relationship you will ever have.
-The Street Car: He's the guy who can't get our of the streets long enough to establish a relationship. He has done time, but still insists on living the life. He has no desire to get a real job or do anything "straight and narrow". If he has kids it is likely that he doesn't want to get a real job" because he owes child support. Not a good guy to be with.
-The Babymaker: He has kids by so many women even he can't keep track. He has never been married to any of them yet tries to persuade his new woman that he is a changed man. His job status is flighty, mostly due to the fact that he moves around to avoid child support payments. He does odd jobs and may even be best friends with the street car. The usually have a lot in common.
-The Bitter Man AKA The A$$hole: He's been dumped, duped, and rejected so now he's on a mission to make every woman he comes across pay for his pain. He has an attitude and will never keep a woman because he's always complaining about what "so and so" did to him. He finds it hard to take a look at himself, and thus consider he might be the reason for all his pain.
-The Suspect: He is a gay man masked as a straight man. The type of man who only dates a certain type of woman, usually very pretty or very obese because 9 times out 10 neither will question his sexuality. The Suspect lives a very high-maintenance lifestyle but it is kept a secret from everyone except his significant other. He is very particular, may get his brows waxed, hang out with the boys and appear to have everything together. He can shuck and jive with the best of men but with women his is catty, vindictive and controlling.
-The Abuser: He can be synonymous with The Supsect. He may have some serious issues and expresses his frustration by putting hands on women. He is arrogant and insecure and constantly feels someone is trying to betray him. The abuse usually starts with a simple argument then escalates to a shove. But he is to be avoided at all costs.
-The Jock: The jock can't let go of his athletic past. He may have been in the NBA or NFL, even MLB, but whatever he was in, he can't let it go. He has to reference his athletic past in every situation, similar to Mr. Can't Let Go of His Past. He is used to a certain type of attention from women and if he doesn't get it he feels rejected and will say you're not paying him enough attention. His constant question is life is: "I Left the Game, Do the Fans Still Love Me?
-The Sob Story: No matter what day of the week it is, he always has a story. Something happened to prevent him from brushing his teeth, finding a job, buying a car. He's just one story after the next. Just when he gets to a point of normalcy, he comes with another sob story. In other words he is a manic-psychotic-pity freak who will never be able to get anywhere in life because "things keep happening" to him.
-The Masked Man AKA Liar: The all too familiar guy who can't keep his stories straight. He paints a perfect picture of everything until you fall out of his circle of perfection then all hell breaks loose. He will have you thinking you are at fault but really his lies have distorted your perception of reality.
-The 6 Pack AKA G-Man: He's the 6 things women like: A good relationship with God and his family (which may not be perfect, but they are tolerable), he's a gentleman, he has a good job or runs his own successful business, he is intelligent and can hold a conversation, he is sexually capable and takes the time to find out what a woman likes, he is a good person and even with his flaws, his character surpasses any negative traits. What more can a girl ask for
Which man are you??
(Photo by Jacobs Stock Photography.)
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